FAQs
Frequently Asked Questions
What type of meditation do you teach?
The meditations on this website are a mixture of exercises from many different styles and schools of thought that have worked for me in over 35 years of practice. Mindfulness is the primary goal.
Throughout the years, there have been numerous challenges to achieving the meditative state, and so there have been numerous different approaches that were of value and proved effective, including mindfulness, TM, Vipassana, Zen, to name a few.
I don’t have the time to meditate—what do you suggest?
Right this moment, take a conscious inhale… then exhale…
That’s a meditation.
Time is not the issue—you can sneak a moment of mindfulness.
Begin with (1) minute. Just one minute.
In that minute, be still. Take a conscious breath, and be aware of all the mechanics of the breath, along with all the sensations.
If you become fully present, you will enjoy it.
Because you enjoyed it, you will want more.
Then, try (5) minutes of meditation.
Only when you feel excited about adding more time to your practice, should you do it.
If you feel good about your commitment, you will naturally grow.
If you pressure yourself and meditate because you should do it for a specified amount of time, your mind will not relax.
Bored or impatient, you will most likely stop meditating altogether.
Is there a best time to meditate?
In today’s crazy, chaotic world, any time you can find time to meditate is the best time!
Early morning hours are the quietest and calmest energetically, as our brains haven’t yet kicked into “high gear” and thrust us into the activities of the day.
Late hours often bring with it exhaustion, so that can present challenges to staying alert.
One must take into account individual rhythms and scheduling requirements, so it’s truly a personal choice.
If a specific time that has worked for you suddenly doesn’t work anymore, then change the time.
Keep in mind that the brain appreciates a routine, so if possible, meditate at the same time.
Remember, the meditative state can be accessed at any time, any day.
Should I sit, or can I lie down to meditate?
Lying down will signal to the brain that you are preparing for sleep.
We spend a 1/3rd of our life sleeping, so that’s a very entrenched pattern in the brain: lying down = go to sleep.
It’s not recommended.
Sitting, with feet flat on the floor is recommended.
Yoga practitioners might also enjoy sitting in a meditative posture—Padmasana (the “lotus”) being the most widely recognized posture.
Also popular is Sukhasana, (or “easy pose”), sitting cross-legged.
The important thing is that the spine be nice and straight. We’ve all heard authority figures admonishing people to “sit up straight.”
There is scientific evidence that this long, extended spine actually enhances awareness.
When sitting, be sure the hips are not lower than the knees, creating a rounded lower back and therefore increasing tension in the hips. If necessary, sit on a block or cushion to ensure the hips are higher than the knees.
Keep in mind it’s possible to meditate in any position, any time, any day.
With training, one becomes capable of experiencing the “meditative mind” while conducting all of life’s activities.
The real answer is: whatever makes you comfortable!
Should I keep my eyes open or closed?
There is an enormous amount of data being transmitted from the eyes to the brain. To simply close the eyes will reduce the mental activity enormously. We shut our eyes to reduce the focus of the external environment and shift our focus to the internal experience instead.
Once we’ve learned to stay focused on the internal stability, we can then open our eyes and learn to maintain this stability while we go about our day.
The ultimate goal of meditation is to live in the meditative state—your life becomes a meditation.
I can’t sit still—can I still learn to meditate?
Yes. You must be willing to ride with it.
One of the first places we encounter challenges when learning to meditate is handling the physical body and its limitations and tendencies. We hold so much tension—physical, emotional, and mental tension—that when we finally take a moment to find stillness, all we encounter is our tension.
This is normal.
We must be willing to be with whatever is arising—this is the very definition of being present. Often the very elements that we feel are distracting us from meditating can be the very fulcrum to propel us into the meditative state.
Being with “Whatever I’m noticing” is the objective, whether you’re noticing “tension” or “relaxation.”
If we can learn to just “be with” tension, we notice that it will suddenly diminish, or disappear altogether.
Walking meditations are also a way to channel excessive energy.
What if I have an itch—should I scratch it?
Meditation allows us to be fully present with our experience—enabling us to be more effective in our life. As long as the “itch” doesn’t pull you from the meditative state, then it doesn’t matter what action you take.
The first step is noticing the itch and the desire to relieve the discomfort by scratching. Be with the sensation and the desire and just notice the experience.
Often, the sensations will just go away on their own.
If the itch demands more attention, then you might imagine that you’re scratching—this too, will often make the sensation go away.
Then, if all else fails, just scratch the itch—but be mindful when you do it: Be aware of your hand scratching the itch and noticing the sensations. If the itch is causing all sorts of stress because you’re “refusing” to disturb your meditation—the meditation is already disturbed!
So, go ahead and scratch.
There is no “one size fits all” answer in the world of meditation.
I cannot seem to quiet my mind—am I failing at meditation?
No. You are actually observing the truth: the mind moves.
The number-one fallacy about meditation is that you are supposed to “quiet the mind.”
It is absurd to believe you can step onto a highway and stop an oncoming truck—it’s just as absurd to believe you will “stop the mind.”
It is a false assumption—one that leads many a person to give up before they even get started.
A meditator might experience a quiet mind—but this isn’t from “doing” anything; it occurs when there is no resistance to what is being experienced.
Again, being with “Whatever I’m noticing” is the objective, whether you’re noticing a “quiet mind” or “monkey mind.”
A mother can be focused on her chores while allowing her child to play in the background of her awareness. The child’s activity can be seen and heard, but it does not interfere with the mother’s focus.
Sometimes focusing on my breath or on relaxing makes me anxious—am I doing something wrong?
Often when we focus on the breath, we are attempting to control it, which makes us tense. Likewise, attempting to “force” relaxation will create its opposite—increased tension.
We must loosen our grip on the mind—ease up on our demands.
As meditators begin to relax, this expands the field of awareness. It may not be that anxiety is actually increasing; but instead, the awareness of the existing levels of anxiety comes clearer into focus, including those deeply embedded in the psyche.
Whenever we allow the mind and body to show up just as it is—without any attempt to control them—we loosen the resistance and eventually, we are capable of true relaxation.
Sometimes meditating is easy, some days I can’t do it all. Why?
The purpose of meditation is to increase your ability to remain present.
To simply be with whatever is arising, occurring, happening.
Life is filled with ups and downs, and twists and turns. Our meditation practice should adapt to the needs of life.
We won’t always be able to control the environment to create silence.
We won’t always be able to be comfortable, no matter what position we’re in.
We won’t always be able to focus or relax.
But if you go with the flow, accepting the changing conditions, you will develop a flexible mind—eventually leading to the ability to maintain a meditative mind no matter what activity you are engaged with.
Try not to label meditations as “good” or “bad” or “hard” or “easy.” Some of the “bad” or difficult meditations can bring with them sudden understanding and healing.
Why did I start to cry for no reason in the meditation?
Once we relax fully, our subconscious can more easily “leak” through to our conscious awareness. Unexpressed feelings are coming to the surface.
Often we have no logical reason, but we experience feelings, tears, or both.
Often, there aren’t even words or thoughts; there is simply the experience of tears.
Don’t think about it too much.
See it as a form of release. Be grateful that you are letting things go.
Do I have to meditate every day to experience any benefits?
No. Anytime you calm the mind or body, you are calming the parasympathetic nervous system, and thus activating the body’s restore and recovery response.
But a daily practice will allow the brain to get into the routine of meditating, allowing us to access the meditative mind more quickly and deeply.
This is even more enhanced if you have a simple ritual you do prior to the meditation practice. As you start the regular ritual, your brain will already start to go into a meditative state, all on its own accord. This is a trained, “Pavlovian response.”
It means you waste less time “getting into the zone.”
I tried and I cannot meditate—my mind is too busy. What is wrong?
When we use force and attempt to control the mind, we actually increase the psychic tension, causing even more mental activity.
Everyone can meditate—it is our natural state of mind.
Just notice what you’re experiencing.
In this case, you sit quietly, noticing the busy activity going on in your mind.
You notice how it seems to be crazy fast, going in all kinds of directions… You notice that you wish it would stop… and you try to re-focus…
Then you remember an appointment that’s coming up and a snippet of a song floating around in your head.
You remember that you are “meditating” and feel that you’ve not been very present…
You make no attempt to regulate thoughts—just allow everything to flow.
Just watch.
You cannot make the mind calm down, you simply must allow it to unwind, like a toy. It may take a while for you to experience that—but it’s worth it!